Don’t Ask Why
You’ve probably felt this before…it’s like someone opened a tap on the bottom of your feet and all your energy just DRAINED out…
According to me, there are two types of people in the world –
Radiators are people you meet who enrich your life, make you laugh, give you energy, make you feel good, happy and encourage you to follow your gut instinct and grow.
Drains are people who suck the life from you, they are the moaners and complainers of the world – ie. “I hate my job” yet never leave and follow a career path that interests them. They mooooooooveee sllllooooowwwlllyyyy, procrastinate. They talk about you behind your back and look for arguments.
The list goes on.
Do you know anybody like that?
I call them energy vampires.
You have a couple of choices when it comes to energy vampires. You can either walk away from them, or endure the pain. Don’t try to change them. You might be lucky enough to find yourself in a position where you CAN walk away, but you may also be in a position where you can’t. Perhaps they are workmates who sit at the desk across from you, hell, maybe they’re even FAMILY! (and we all know we can’t choose our family, right?!)
We just have to accept that some people love to moan -about everything. They thrive on a “woe is me” attitude. That’s just it, and it doesn’t necessarily make them a ‘bad person’. You may just have to create a force field around yourself so that you don’t become affected by their negative aura, and it’s very doable! Let’s think of it as an invisible cape!
First thing’s first.
Start to distance yourself from energy vampires where possible. When you decide to live life under your own rules, you will naturally gravitate away from these people over time without even realising it– but at other times you may have to decide to distance yourself, and that’s entirely okay.
If you start to surround yourself with only the people who want you to succeed, that’s when you’ll change your game completely.
Have you ever heard of the phrase:
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”?
Sometimes in life, in order to increase your wins, you must first increase your losses.
Surround yourself with positive people who push you forward, but keep your critics close – as they will help you develop the mental strength that you will need if you are to grow.
Secondly, stop asking why.
When you ask WHY someone is doing something or saying something that you don’t like -you are taking ownership of their problems. Stop doing that. You don’t need to take on other people’s problems.
Instead, accept WHAT they are doing, but don’t waste energy on trying to figure out WHY.
Let’s look at an example:
A colleague at work spends the entire day moaning about how much they hate their job. It’s really starting to grate on you, because you really enjoy what you do. It’s really getting on your nerves, pissing you off – and you can’t figure out why they don’t just start looking for another job. It’s taking up quite a lot of your energy.
As the days and weeks go past, it annoys you so much that it’s now affecting your whole day!
Let me ask you this. What if you just stopped caring about WHY they’re bitching and moaning? What if you just decided to think okay, they’re whining, I accept that – I don’t need to know why.
Stop taking ownership of other people’s problems and issues and focus on doing what you do best – being you.
Life changing, I promise.
We only get ONE life (unless of course, you believe in reincarnation).
How would you feel if you were doing something you truly LOVED every single day, surrounded by the people that you love? How would you feel if I told you that you can go to bed every night and think, yes – today was a good day! Simply by spending less time with people who encourage you to fall further away from your dreams or goals and spending more time with the people who inspire you to succeed.
Have you ever had a burning desire to do something, but you were too scared to do it? Apply for a new job, ask someone out on a date, start your own business, join a gym? That’s fear, darling. And fear is a funny thing. It can stop even the most radiator of radiators from achieving their goals, but I would encourage you to use that fear as FUEL for the fire within you.
But that’s for a whole other blog.
For now – think about what I’ve written here – and focus on only giving your energy to people who deserve it.
Stop asking ‘why’ and let the negative Nancy’s energy bounce off you instead of getting under your skin.