Stop Talking About Yourself Like That!
When was the last time you looked in the mirror and said something nice about yourself? Seriously – have a think.
From the moment we open our eyes in the morning, until the minute we close them at night, the most common thing for us to do is to look in the mirror and pick out all of our perceived ‘flaws’.
Which of these statements can you remember saying about yourself…?
“I’m so fat”
“I look a state in this outfit”
“I’ll never lose all this weight”
“I hate my body”
“I look so frumpy”
And it’s not just when you look in the mirror, is it? Do you compare yourself to other people too?
“He/she looks so much better than me”
“I wish I had half the confidence he/she has”
“I wish I could be slim like her”
“I remember when I was in shape like him, I wish I could get back to that”
We are constantly talking down on ourselves and comparing ourselves to other people who we assume feel better than us.
The first step to stopping this vicious circle of negative self-talk is to accept that you are doing it and that it is NOT good for you. Stop and think about how many times per day you are bombarding your brain with negativity.
How would you feel if a friend was stood in front of you saying those things to you? Consciously you might feel hurt, upset and angry, right? Well – it’s exactly the same when you say these things to yourself on a daily basis, you might feel a little upset, but your subconscious is feeling it ten fold.
I guess in a way it’s almost become more socially acceptable these days to talk down on yourself than to be confident about your appearance. It’s a conversation starter, isn’t it? Take this for an example – your friend texts to say they’re going to pop over for a brew…
“Okay, but beware – I look a complete mess today”
^^ There you go again…
Imagine if you said:
“Great, I got my hair cut yesterday and it looks really good – can’t wait to show you!”
Can you see the difference? You might think the latter sounds over confident and arrogant, but we have to shift this to feeling confident and happy with our appearance!
So what can you do about negative self talk once you have accepted that you are doing it regularly?
Start recognising when you are having these thoughts, question them and then you can turn them around.
Start correcting yourself when you catch one of these thoughts in your head. Give yourself a compliment instead (even if you don’t truly believe it yet). Pick one feature about your body that you love, and say it out loud. Try it now, go on – say it now!
I often think the best way to start being more positive about our own bodies is to start by complimenting others. It is so much easier to be positive about other people than it is to be positive about ourselves, so I encourage you to practise this first.
Try it. It could be a friend, a work colleague, someone at the gym… go on, I dare you! Practice positivity on others and then apply it to yourself. I challenge you to compliment three different people today, and then when you get home, stand in front of the mirror and compliment yourself. Out loud.
Living with a more positive mindset will transform your life, but it is a skill that needs to be learned and practiced.
Learn to develop a CAN DO attitude rather than a CAN’T DO.
Start by talking positively about yourself and then you can begin building yourself up bit by bit, instead of knocking yourself down every morning. Treat yourself as you would treat others; speak positively about yourself for a change. Understand that you cannot simply become happy just by losing weight – you can be happy NOW, you just need to learn how to.
Writing a positive affirmation is another great tool to use to start practicing positivity.
It is a great tool to use to fight your most common negative thoughts.
“I am fit, strong and healthy and I have lots of energy to do the things I love”
Some days I do not actually FEEL fit, strong and healthy – but rather than saying I feel weak, poorly and tired – I will say my positive affirmation out loud. Change a negative to a positive and it can turn your whole day around.
You’ll be surprised how good it feels.